Was so much fun leading worship at Journey Church with All Sons And Daughters and a few other super talented musicians yesterday. What a beautifully creative church we go to. Resurrection was displayed from the message, to the music, to the video, to the girl throwing flower petals. Top to bottom the service was shouting “He Is Risen!” Here is a snippet from the service. This is a song called “Praise The Invisible” by our good friend Daniel Bashta and it opened the service. I hope I will find more of the service get posted by anyone else who might have filmed it so that I can share them with you also. (I have another blog that I will be writing about this to come so keep your eyes open for it)

Enjoy, share and I would love to hear your thoughts!

Here is another view of the same song:

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in church listening to my pastor talk about the cross. His message was one of a series he has been teaching leading up to Easter titled, “This Is Not The End.” Somewhere near the middle of his message I got lost on a tidbit of information he presented. My mind began wandering and chewing on a thought that I couldn’t seem to shake and even still, some three weeks later I am still pondering/meditating and now blogging about it. Here is the unraveling of those thoughts:

We tend to lie to ourselves and believe that our sins, our wrongdoings are not that bad. That we can get away with them. That they won’t eat away at and eventually destroy our lives. We carry their burden around with us as if there is no strain or tugging or pulling at us. Yet, as Romans 6:23 says:

“For the wages which sin pays is death, but the [bountiful] free gift of God is eternal life through (in union with) Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Imagine that, to work at something in order to be paid with death. This is macabre. This is horrifying and twisted, yet we continue on, turning a blind eye to the final outcome of our sins.

Why does our brain tell us to stand back from the edge of a cliff? Because it knows that the outcome of an accidental fall would be death.

Why does it tell us to drive on our side of the road? Because it knows a head on collision could likely end in death.

Why does our brain tell us to avoid certain parts of town at night, to stay out of the ocean when there has been a shark sighting, to not fool around with a loaded gun, and not stand outside when there is a tornado? Because it knows that each of these things could end in death.

How can we get to this point with sin and what can we do to remember the gruesome outcome of being a slave to it so that we can avoid it like the plague it is?

What if our sin was found out? And not just found out by someone we considered worse off than ourselves, but, what if we were caught in the act of our greatest sin by someone who was blameless? Someone who had never done us wrong? Someone, whose affection and attention and love we craved? What if that person made eye contact with us at that moment of sin? Would we then see our sin as it really is?

Ahhh.

That feelings that I imagine most people would have with this thought are most likely guilt and shame.

Shame- the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.

Guilt- a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc.

Some may be squirming as they read this. Some may be weeping. Some may be hardened. Each of us responding to the way we have viewed and treated our sins.

As I sat in that church service, a few weeks ago, I listened as my pastor read out of the book of Luke about the betrayal and arrest of Jesus. It was right in the middle of the verses he was reading that I stopped. Three verses, about Peter’s denial of Christ, jumped out at me as they had never before. Luke 22:60-62

“But Peter said, ‘Man, I do not know what you are talking about.’ And instantly, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter recalled the Lord’s words, how He had told him, Before the cock crows today, you will deny Me thrice. And he went out and wept bitterly [that is, with painfully moving grief].”

Would we have the same response to our sin as Peter did if this verse said “And the Lord turned and looked at [insert your name]?” You may be thinking, yeah but, Peter was denying Christ, surely my tiny sins don’t compare to that. Timothy Keller says this,

“The first commandment is foundational to all the other commandments. We will not break commandments two through ten unless we are in some way breaking the first one by serving something or someone other than God. Every sin is rooted in the inordinate lust for something which comes because we are trusting in that thing rather than in Christ for our righteousness or salvation. We sin because we are looking to something else to give us what only Jesus can give us. Beneath any particular sin is the general sin of rejecting Christ’s salvation and attempting our own self-salvation.”

Even what we think are the whitest, tiniest sins are still a rejection, denial of Christ and His salvation.

Think, once again, about having someone find out about your greatest sin. Think about what you imagine your response would be: shame, guilt, anger, sorrow, fear, blame, repentance? Now think about why you hide and make excuses for that sin. Do you fear losing someones respect? Losing your job? Would you fear that you would have to give up that sin and you can’t imagine life without it and as a result you would burn with anger and bitterness? Is your excuse for that sin that some person or some other action or some other time wounded you and as a result, this sin of yours is your consolation? Your shield? Have you forgotten how to have relationships with others without that sin?

Think on all of these feelings and know that Jesus has seen your sin. He has found you out. He has turned and looked at you right in the dirty, horrid middle of it, covered with the infection of your attempts at self-salvation, just as He did with Peter, and instead of turning away repulsed, He grabbed a hold of that sin, wrenched it and all of the shame and guilt and fear and anger and victimization and bitterness from you and carried it away with Him. To a cross. And upon that cross He died bearing your sin, the huge weight of it, so that you could live free from it. Sometimes I wonder what the hardest part of the cross was for Jesus, the nails in His hands and His feet? The crown of thorns pushed upon His head? The lashing? The spear shoved into His side? Hanging there with all of this abuse and waiting for death? Or, was the torment of our sins upon Him worse?

Eye contact, with us and our sin, was made some 2000 years ago and the wage of death, for our sins, was paid by a man who was blameless, who didn’t deserve it but who bore it so that we could live free from it. Thomas Chalmers said,

“The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one….The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.”

This Easter, quit looking for life among the rubble of death. Quit your attempt at self-salvation. You will never be able to raise yourself from the dead. Turn to and trust the only one can be our salvation. Grab onto the only real source of life, who displayed the greatest act of love the world has ever seen. Turn to the true Savior, Rescuer, Reliever, Justifier, Free-er, Death-Destroyer, Redeemer

Jesus,

who has risen from the dead.

Here we are again, chasing the songs that inspire our feet to hit the pavement time and time again. What songs are doing that for me right now? Oh, let me tell you (they are good!). But don’t be stingy, share with me your musical running inspiration. You can even be a couch potato and have never run a day in your life (aside from the one time you saw a $100 bill floating down the sidewalk) and just make up what songs you would think would be inspirational, you know, if you ever decided to run. Or walk fast. Or to stand outside with your sneakers on.

Happy running (or just great song listening):

1. Distance Kills-Nolita Knights

2. Time To Run- Lord Huron (It’s called “Time To Run,” duh.)

3. On The Shores- Jonathan David & Melissa Helser (Four.On.The.Floor!)

4. Neither Here Nor There- Lost In The Trees

5. Default- Django Django

6. Does Your Heart Break?- The Brilliance (Don’t be thrown off by how slowly this one starts. It will pick up and may even leave you weeping. I may or may not have had a few tears with this one.)

7. Breakers- Local Natives (This band has serenaded many of my runs and with this new album there are many songs that I am loving.)

8. Spotlight- Leagues (One of my favorite additions to this list. Gah.)

9. Every Song- On and On

10. Ink Slinger- Brooke Waggoner (No explanation needed.)

Recently, I excitedly went to Barnes and Noble and chose a few new books for my 4 year old daughter. This is not a rare occurrence and is not what made this particular trip so exciting. This trip and these books were special because they are the next step up in my daughters reading/learning. I bought her books that have no pictures, just words, words glorious words. My daughter is in preschool and by no means knows how to read to herself, but since she was a baby, her father and I have been reading to her, our voices sounding out the rhyming patterns while we pointed at the pictures, letting her imagination fill in the blanks. After a few years of reading very simple stories with lots of pictures, I started integrating more complex stories with less pictures until finally we arrived at the day where I was looking for an even more complex story with no pictures. One thing that I love about the children’s book world is that they have helped me greatly with this transition. There are many different versions of the greatest classic books, such as “The Secret Garden, The Wizard Of Oz, Little Women,” etc. They start at a very simplified version of the story for the youngest readers and then there is a graduated version of the story for the more advanced reader. This goes on until the reader is finally able to comprehend the original book in all of its mature complexity.

I know that it would do no good to begin at the end with my daughter. She would have listened, perhaps, for a bit, but would have quickly lost interest because she was unable to process or understand the language of the original books. She would not have been able to track with the 500 pages of the original “Little Women,” but she could wrap her brain around the 20 paged, many pictured simplified version. Then, as her brain learned to process the style of writing and storytelling and began to grow in comprehension, I could move up to the next stage, the 112 pages and sporadically pictured version of “Little Women.” Once again I would watch her comprehension grow and see her leaning into the greater story.

What is great to me about this process is that my daughter has never looked at the learning process and kicked against it. She has never thrown down the new book and reached back for the old one. She desires to learn, to grow, to comprehend and with this desire comes a faster understanding. I had a revelation recently about something in my life that I feel like I am in the process of learning again, trust. I could’ve sworn that this was a lesson that I had already gone through and passed (if only mediocrely). Couldn’t I move on to something else like learning how to deal with being really successful or super financially stable? Ugh. Trust. Again. Here is what I’ve figured out though. This time the teaching in new. This time the story is more complex and there is less obvious direction. I am having to lean in and commit more fully to the learning or else I get lost and distracted. I feel like Christ, the great storyteller, has been teaching me throughout my whole life. He has brought out the simplest books telling the story of trust and when he saw my understanding, He put that book away and brought out the next one; the one that is more challenging, that will stretch me again to learn and grow. Then once again, that book gets taken away and a newer, thicker, far more complex book comes out and I am re-learning about trust again, in even greater detail.

The difference between my daughter and myself is that eventually she will arrive at the level of learning that she needs in order to be able to read and comprehend the original, 500 page “Little Women” and even be able to move on to other, more advanced books, but with me, I wonder if there will ever be a final book on trust in my lifetime. Who knows, but I am taking a lesson from my daughter and I am not going to kick against the new story. I am not going to be grabbing after the simpler version. I am going to lean into the greater story.

Trust, version 10. Here we go.

I like Van Gogh. I like the beauty and mystery, the bold mixture of colors, and the movement and honesty found while gazing at his paintings. I’m looking at a painting he did of himself right now as I write this and I am struck by the way he painted himself. He looks sad. He looks tired. He looks worried. He looks real while still looking intriguing. I also love his “Starry Night” painting. I had the opportunity to see the original painting in New York at the Museum of Modern Art about 18 years ago and I remember standing in front of the painting, leaning into it as if I could crawl into that moonlit landscape. Van Gogh had a gift. He was able to paint in a way that no one else could/can and we are able to see the world differently because of his artistic gift.

Now I will jump to my point of this blog.

Music. Unfortunately, frequently, christian music drives me crazy. Instead of being pulled towards what the songs are attempting to reveal, oftentimes, I find myself hitting the mute button and frustration filling my chest.

Where is the great craft? Where is the great songwriting? What in the heck are they trying to say? What picture are they trying to paint?

I feel like we are being handed mediocre artwork and being told to get over it, ignore the shabby work because they are at least using the same colors. Same colors, same painting right?

No. Not even close.

How is anyone supposed to know what is being painted about if the artist is a bad painter? How does the bad painter’s artwork keep being put in the most prominent place of viewing?

Where are Christian Music’s Van Gogh’s? I want to see Jesus from their perspective.

I think the title of this blog might be a bit of a lie. I’m sorry. I don’t mean it, but this will be not so much a review of the new Daniel Bashta album “The Invisible” so much as me trying, with all my written power, to persuade you to go out and by this album immediately.

Reason #1- The same brilliant (this is not stretch or exaggeration) team that produced my last album “Current,” also, once again collaborated to produce this Bashta album. They did not hold back. They didn’t play by any rules or candy coat or allow anyone to shove them within the tight constraints of a box. They just stood alongside Daniel and shaped the songs as they are meant to be shaped. The results are stunning.

Reason #2- The songwriting. Daniel is an intense life live-r and this is shown in his songwriting. There is never a moment on this album (unlike much of the Christian industry, unfortunately) where you don’t think Daniel cares passionately about what he is singing. You never find yourself thinking, “it doesn’t really sound like he knows who he is singing about.” No, you listen and you think, “Ahhh, this is a very real God he is singing about and he is singing like he actually knows Him, very well.” Daniel’s songs are like a painting of who God is, a revelation of Christ and Daniel’s painting is clear. We can clearly see our Savior. We don’t have to strain our eyes at a fuzzy, blurry image, we can see Jesus in these songs. This is a great achievement of a songwriter/singer and Daniel does it flawlessly.

Reason #3- The singing. Passion. I remember being downstairs while Daniel was upstairs recording vocals in our studio and he was singing so passionately, with so much energy, with such belief and conviction, that I remember getting chills without even being able to hear any other bits of the song. Just his vocals only. He doesn’t resign to doing this only once on this album but instead, song after song, he is singing with every ounce of his being. This kind of vocal performance stirs me, as a listener, to do just the same.

I could keep listing reasons. I could keep going on and on but it really comes down to this, there are few records in the Christian music industry still being made like this one. The kind where there is freedom, where there is creativity and musical excellence. The kind where you can see a creative, real, God within every note or beat or word. I believe that this album will change lives because of the great truth being clearly revealed within it.

Yes, you can hear me singing on various songs throughout the album and I even had the opportunity to co-write on the opening track called “I Want It All (Just Give Me Jesus)” and I couldn’t be more proud to get to be a part of such a stunning project. Go out and buy this album now. Support Daniel and this record so that he can continue to make music that moves us and grabs us and hurls us into the presence of our Savior. Our real Savior and not some candy coated religious one.

Then, once you have listened repeatedly, I want you to come back and tell me which songs are your favorites. I say listen repeatedly because your favorites will change listen by listen. Every song is that good.

Ohhh I’m excited for you

Buy the album right here, right now:

Daniel Bashta
“The Invisible”

Enjoy!

At the start of each year I try to go back and take a look at the blogs that I posted over the 12 months and see which had the most impact or greatest response from you, the readers. I’ll admit, in doing so I am constantly humbled that you have invested your valuable time in following and reading my blogs and then even more astonishing, you have passed some of them along to your friends or co-workers or neighbors because they meant something to you and you wanted to share that meaning with them. I am baffled that you wold do this and feel greatly honored by it. Thank you from the depths of my being. Your affirmation is a treasure of great worth.

So here we are again and I have my 2012 list. These blogs rose to the top above the 50 something blogs that I posted over the year. I hope you find some that you want to re-visit or re-share or perhaps even some that you have never seen and you can read for the first time.

Here goes:

1. Music To Run To Blogs- Without a doubt, my music playlist’s are the most popular blogs on my site. I love it. People stumble upon these lists from google searches for running playlists all the time and then frequently let me know that it was a happy surprise to find my blog. Here are the Music to run to lists that I posted throughout 2012. Happy running/listening.

Music To Run To #4

Christian Music To Run To #1

Christian Music To Run To #2

Music To Run To #5

2. “Every Good Endeavor” By Timothy Keller (Book Review)- This blog had the most hits in one day than any other blog I’ve posted (probably because Timothy Keller tweeted a link to the blog also as well as his book publisher). If you haven’t read this book yet, you need to get it now and get it read!

3. Freedom-Loss- I’ll admit, I have been surprised by the number of hits and reads this blog has gotten. I love that it hit a nerve with people and as a result it has been widely read.

4. Burned By The Church Video Blog- This video blog has been viewed almost 8,000 times in only the short 4 months since it was released. What I love most is that it has been shared by hundreds of you. Thank you.

5. Never Underestimate How Weak You Are- This is one of those blogs that I needed to write for myself as much as for anyone else.

6. Thankful/To Be Known- I was nervous about posting this blog on Thanksgiving Day because I thought perhaps everyone would be too busy to read it, but boy was I wrong. You read and you shared even with turkey in your mouth and gravy on your chin.

7. “Live For Now” And The Fool- I got angry and I wrote. Boom.

8. The Incision and The Pain Echo- Ahhh a Hope blog.

9. Best Albums I Heard In 2012- I love making lists and apparently you love them too. Music is cool.

10. Live Performance Videos- In 2012 I released 4 of 5 performance videos that I filmed. Each of these 4 videos and the blogs that they were attached to found their own spot at the top of last years most read/watched blogs. Which one was your favorite?

Current- Live Performance Video

The Damaged- Live Performance Video

Galaxy Former- Live Performance Video

Laughter Comes Upon Us- Live Video

Now on to 2013…

Proverbs 3:5 (in three different translations) says:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.” (ESV)

“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” (AMP)

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.” (MSG)

I have been wrestling with this. Not just the trusting part but the “letting go and not trying to figure everything out on my own” part. I have a hard time not trying to unravel things, sort things and looking at what they mean, how the line up and make sense. I will shuffle and re-shuffle my thoughts about various things going on in my life until I feel as if I have made sense of them, but, every now and then it just isn’t possible, there is no sense to be made and I find myself falling back onto these words written some 3000 years ago. I find myself thinking, “Dang, Sarah, when will you learn that this is the place to start, not to end up, after you’ve worn yourself out.” So here I am again, flipping the worn pages of my bible till I land on this verse, that I have underlined and starred as if it’s meaning should’ve already been absorbed, it’s lesson learned.

I know I talk a lot about running, but, I am going to do it again because the things I learn as a runner frequently coincide with the spiritual. I have learned, over time, that the running routine needs to change frequently or the body gets unresponsive, no longer getting faster/stronger/fitter/etc. I can run 3 miles a day for weeks and watch my body go from at about a 10 minute mile to perhaps a 9 minute mile but after a while I stop getting faster and my muscles stop toning. In fact I have run so frequently in my life, I have conditioned myself to be able to go out and run 3 miles easily even if I am my flabbiest, most un-fit self. If I desire more speed or more fitness I have to change my routine and challenge my body again. I have to close out that know-it-all voice in my head that says “Do what you’re used to, what’s easiest, what takes the least energy! Don’t change!” It’s almost like I have to start from scratch, doing something new, so that my body will once again need to improve it’s ability in order to function.

It is the same with the bible. I have read it cover to cover a number of times and yet I still find that I have let myself act as if I have never read this verse in Proverbs 3. I have let the words fall away into a reservoir in my brain that never gets tapped into.

If you jump down a couple of verses to Proverbs 3:7 it says

“Don’t assume that you know it all.”

I think this is the root of the weeds that I have been wrestling with. I don’t think that I know it all, but, I frequently think that I know some, or if I’m being truly honest, that I know a lot, but the truth is, who cares how much I know if it is doing nothing in my spiritual life? If I am forgetting the bare bones? If I am overlooking things that would relieve stress and worry and anxiety in my life and replace them with peace and comfort or as Proverbs 3:8 says about us if we truly know these words

“Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!”

I am thankful that there are these moments when I can be reminded that there needs to be an adjustment. I am thankful that God is patient and will take responsibility for what I need to know and what I don’t, for what I need to learn now and what I’m not ready for, making my only responsibility watching, listening, following Him. So, once again, I am going to change up my spiritual routine. I am going to shift gears, even though there may be a bit of grinding and difficulty so that I can be ready for whatever He may say or wherever He may lead.

Once again it is time to muzzle my inner know-it-all get back to “Trust[ing] God from the bottom of [my] heart;
[NOT] try to figure out everything on [my] own.”

Last year was a great year in music. I have been feeling, in the last few years, that music needed to turn a corner and bring out something fresh and inspiring and I think last year was the start of that. As a result, I am eager to see what the next few years hold in new music. Below is my list of “Best Albums I Heard In 2012.” This means that a couple of the albums, as you will see, actually released in 2011 but I didn’t hear about them or listen to them till 2012. Because of their greatness, I have decided that they still need to go on this “Best Of” list. There is a little bit of everything on this list and I hope you find something to inspire you throughout the many music accompanied moments of your life. The list is in alphabetical order (waaay too difficult to try to put them in order of favorites) mainly because each album would be my favorite during different moments. One favorite for running on a sunny day, one favorite for running on a cloudy day. One favorite for driving to church and another for driving through the night on a road trip.

Best Albums I Heard In 2012:
1. Active Child- You Are All I See (actually came out 2011): This album fits any moment and has stationed itself as my go-to album in my collection. It never fails to inspire me.
2. Alt J- An Awesome Wave: This band is being heralded as the next Radiohead, I don’t know about that but I sure am loving this record.
3. David Byrne & St. Vincent- Love This Giant: Many people are disappointed in this album but I am not. I love both of these artists and all their crazy-ness, so the two of them together is wonderful to me. You can decide for yourself.
4. Ellie Goulding- Halcyon: It blows my mind that this album is even on my list, I mean Ellie is pretty darn Pop sticky sweet but there is something about it that I love.
5. Half Moon Run- Dark Eyes: Ohhh the interesting production and vocal performances on this record. Love, Love, Love.
6. Hillsong Live- Cornerstone: Only 2 tracks to make it land on this list…they are that good.
7. James Vincent McMorrow- Early In The Morning (Released in 2011): Soft and beautiful.
8. Lost in the Trees- A Church That Fits Our Needs: This album has beauty and freshness combined.
9. Metric- Synthetica: This record is just flat out cool.
10. Nikki and The Dove- Instinct: This is the album fueling my runs lately.
11. Paper Route- The Peace Of Wild Things: This was the album I was most eager about releasing 2012. I had high expectations, so high in fact that I became a bit nervous thinking there was no way the album could live up to them, BUT ohhhh they did. There are so many great moments on this album. Ugh. So well done.
12. Sleeping At Last- Yearbook (actually came out nov 2011): I was slow to hear this record but happy once I found it. This one goes on and tension falls off.

Honorable Mentions:
David Ramirez-Apologies
All Sons & Daughters- The Longing
Nolita Knights- Distance Kills
Santigold- Master of My Make Believe

Biggest Dissappointments:
Mumford & Sons- Babel
Fiona Apple- The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

With both of the above albums I felt like I needed to love them and rave about them in order to fit into the cool people club but you know what? I just didn’t love them. I barely even like them. I would sit and listen and feel a bit like I was a townsperson in “The Emperors New Clothes.” I don’t think I should have to be brainwashed into thinking an album is brilliant, I think it should just BE brilliant. Ahhh, now you know. Can we still be friends?

Well here is my list. I hope you see some of your favorites on here as well as find some new music to inspire you. Give me your lists and the albums that you think I’m crazy for not including. Woohoo for great new music!!!

This list is varied. There are books on this list that will thrill some and displease others. There are books on this list that have changed my life and others that have just made the hours of their reading pleasant ones. Some that were released in 2012 and some that are much older but that I’ve only just read. There is fiction, non-fiction and some that hover in-between.

I love to read.

1000 pages or 100, I don’t care, my only requirement is that the book moves me. These are the 10 books that did just that. I hope you find something here that will do the same for you

1. Every Good Endeavor- Timothy Keller (I have about a 900 word gush about my love of this book in my blog “Every Good Endeavor” By Timothy Keller (Book Review)”

2. Imagine- Jonah Leher (The sub-title for this book is “How Creativity Works” and I think each and every one of you creative types should read it. Now.)

3. How We Decide- Jonah Lehrer (Brains, thoughts, science…yes please.)

4. The Light Between Oceans- ML Stedman (Beauty on paper.)

5. The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald (I’ve read this book before but it was fun re-reading it thinking of the new movie coming out this next year…and yes I imagine Leonardo DiCaprio will be the perfect Gatsby.)

6. London: The Novel- Edward Rutherford (1000 pages of London history.)

7. Reason For God- Timothy Keller (Mr. Keller talks about the hard things and guides us to understanding.)

8. The Book Thief- Markus Zusak (Oh the tears I wept in this book.)

9. Life After God- Douglas Coupland (The book that the cool kids have read.)

10. The Night Circus- Erin Mergenstern (Dueling magicians. Enough said. I expect a movie to be made from this book.)

Now your turn…Give me your favorite reads of the 2012. Make them good.