My daughter thinks she is an extremely fast runner. She is 3 1/2 and yes you are imagining right, the legs she runs on are still a bit wobbly and with barely the strength to push her forward fast enough to flee a determined turtle, BUT, that’s not how she sees it. The other day she was in one of her favorite places in the world, perched on her Daddy’s shoulders, where she was talking and making great progress on the some 20,000 words a day that girls supposedly say per day. Then, right in the middle of her dialogue she stopped and said, “If a fire comes, then we will run away really fast like I run. You know, how I run fast.” Yes, she was referring to how fast she runs verses how fast she thinks that we, her fairly fit parents, run and her conclusion was: she is the faster runner. So, if we were being chased by fire, we would be well advised to run as fast as her instead of the leisurely pace her dad and I would normally flee danger.

I chuckled to myself, thinking of her perception of our family’s running speed. I am a pretty slow runner. I usually focus on running far not fast so I guess I’m not too surprised by her assessment of my speediness, but her dad, I was surprised that she thought she ran faster than him. I began to wonder why it was that she thought she was supremely speedy. Then I imagined myself in her tiny body, pumping arms and legs with a huge grin and the wind blowing through her curly hair, wooshing past her ears and in her face. Yes, I can understand why she would think she was exceptionally fast, because when she runs, she FEELS fast. It feels hard and challenging. It gets her blood and adrenaline pumping. She can’t imagine what it feels like to be faster. Her perception of the reality of her running capabilities is askew.

I wonder how many times I do this as a christian. How many times do I feel the adrenaline of being on stage in front of many excited music listeners or how many times I feel the “wind” of challenge blowing in my face and begin to daydream that I am the one doing all the work. I am the one who is the best. I am the one who can save myself, do what’s right. I am the most capable, etc.

Seeing the silly-ness/immaturity of my daughters line of thinking reminds me of my frequent immaturity/silly-ness and why would I want to settle for that? Why would I want to endanger myself by being left to myself and my capabilities? What is the alternative?

Jesus.

And what can He do?

Ephesians 3:20 says,

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Infinitely more than what I think or ask.

Perception- the act or faculty of grasping the meaning of by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.

Do I have a good perception of what He is capable of as my Savior? No. Am I bummed about that? Ha! No.

If a fire comes, my finite legs are looking pretty toddler-like compared to His infinite capabilities so you’ll find me sticking with Him.

I had a very strange thing happen to me recently. Maybe the incident wasn’t that strange but the impact it had on me has lingered and burned its impression on me with a sizzle. The story starts like normal, I was singing. My songs flew from my lips and swirled around until catching in the curl of the ears of those nearby. One of those ears belonged to an older woman. I would guess she was in her late 70’s but her smile has me wondering if she were younger. Later I was seated at a table with this same lady and she asked question after question. Not the normal question, only about my music but questions about me. She was digging and looking for Sarah, her shovel a long string of questions passing through a smile laced mouth. Even later, she found me again, a couple more questions and then softly as she turned to walk away, again with a smile, she said, “See you later, Sarah. I love you.”

I love you?

Uhhhhh, is this lady my grandma and I’ve forgotten what she looked like? Who tells a virtual stranger that they love them? Oh those three words rolled around in my chest tumultuously. What was making me so emotional and confused about those three words?

While I still have quite a bit of pondering to do about this verbal encounter I have made myself sit down to write what has been pushing to the forefront of my thoughts.

Doesn’t the bible say to love?

Love your neighbor as yourself- Leviticus 19:18

Do I do this? No. I love myself very much. I dress myself in my favorite clothes (because I know it makes me feel creative), treat myself to an occasional pedicure (because I know that my toes are embarrassing and the pedicure makes me less self-conscious), I buy myself my favorite books (because I know how much I love to read), I give myself a breather when I get stressed out (because I know that quietness is how I get regrouped), I let myself frequently bury my face in my daughters neck where I can inhale her sweet scent (because there is very little better in the world that makes me happier than this), I encourage myself, cheer myself on, and bear the fact that many times I let myself down.

I could go on and on with the ways that I love myself, each act of love is a result of knowing myself and knowing what makes me feel loved. So if I look at this verse and stand it beside the ways I love myself, I see that I fall short. Time and time again I get too busy to really know the people who come into my life. Or I allow myself to curl up behind a shield of shy/introvertedness.

The things around us, media, movies, books, commercials, newspapers, friends, family, and even ourselves show a flawed example of love to each other. We take in, and assess these flawed examples of love and then begin to question it. We hold others up to this standard of loving others as you love yourself but we can’t live up to the standard ourselves.

Reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 sometimes makes me feel like love is impossible. It says,

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

I can’t do this. Sure I can in moments throughout my life but I know I have not born all things. I have not always resisted resentfulness. I have not always relinquished getting my own way. I have not believed, hoped and endured all things. So how can I say that I love at all? Or those that I know, close to me, who have failed at these things, why do I still know that they do love me? Because we know that we are not perfect. No one expects perfection out of another because we know it is impossible. But what is possible is that there is a standard of perfect love. There is a bar set so high we aren’t even able to see it. A perfect love that abolishes indifference.

When we read 1 John 4:16, “God is Love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him,” we know we have hope.

As the creation of our Savior/Creator we are displaying bits of our likeness of Him when we love. We are being who we were created to be, even though we are not yet capable of being constant. Like a dark field with fireflies scattered, their brief flashes of light illuminating the space around them temporarily and sporadically we are showing bursts of love but are yet unable to make it a permanent illumination. But, perhaps the older we get, the longer we have followed after Christ, the more we are like our Creator, the more we are able to keep on this flickering light of love. The more we can endure, the more we can give in, the more we can hope and believe and rejoice and bear, the more we find ourselves being patient and kind, tossing aside our arrogance and rudeness and envy. Perhaps as we follow Him, our quick youthful step grows slower and more shuffle-y but our likeness to our Savior grows more noticeable. Maybe we find ourselves telling someone we just met that we love them, and just maybe, we mean it. But in the meantime, we can depend on that Savior/Creator to fill in the gaps, to love those around us who we hurt, who we neglect. We can depend on Him to love us. Because we are told that this perfect love, the one without any gaps or starts and stops or in between times of neglect, is the love that gave His only Son so that ANY who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. His is a love that follows through into eternity.

It is official and I am thrilled.

There are things you find out about people just in the watching. Face to face conversations, knee to knee coffee meetings, laughter that is let loose instead of forced, eye contact, and high fives. Each of these things have been the data that I’ve gathered in my relationship with those who call themselves Integrit-ians (those who work for Integrity Music) and I have been happy to see that there is honesty and, errr, integrity like a cloud, hovering around them.

Can you imagine, a group of people who want to see the word of God go out to all the world through music? Have I found a unicorn? The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Nessy? Who knows but I am happy to now be part of this family that I am locking arms with and running alongside in an attempt to hand out hope to as many people as we encounter.

Thank you for all of your prayers for me, my family and this music filled life that I am fortunate enough to live in.

I am attaching below Integrity’s press release announcing my signing just so you can be “in the loop.” Notice the free song at the bottom of the release and feel free to pass this blog along, allowing more and more, access to the free song.

Yippee!

“Integrity Music Welcomes Indie Singer/Songwriter Sarah MacIntosh, Announces Global Release For Her New Album Current

Colorado Springs, Colo. – - Integrity Music announces the signing of independent singer/songwriter Sarah MacIntosh and the March 6th global release of her 11-track album Current.

Known for her work with progressive rock band Chasing Furies, Sarah also has three solo projects to her credit including the critically acclaimed The Waiters, TheWatchers, The Listeners, The Keepers & Me. And in addition to touring and collaborating with artists such David Crowder, Tim Hughes, Matt Redman, Vicky Beeching and Burlap to Cashmere, Sarah speaks and leads worship at churches around the country.

“Beyond Sarah’s unique voice and obvious talent as a songwriter, she has an intense desire to help others discover God through worship,” says Integrity A&R Director, Chico Gonzalez. “We’re excited to work with her and honored that she is entrusting her songs to Integrity.”

Of joining the Integrity roster, Sarah says: “Integrity has their eyes set forward in the same direction as mine. They realize that songs have the ability to minister, motivate, teach, comfort and strengthen the listener… I’m thrilled to be walking alongside them as we carry these songs to those who need them.”

Until recently, Sarah’s family made their home in San Diego, California, where Sarah led worship for her father-in-law’s church, Horizon Christian Fellowship. The Texas native is now waking up in cities around the country for speaking/singing engagements as her family relocates temporarily, working with churches to impact local communities. So rather than simply making a cameo in the lives of the people they’re ministering to, they are getting to know the Body of Christ on a more personal level. While their nomadic, life-out-of-a-suitcase existence isn’t for everyone, Sarah and her family love every minute of it.

It was in California at Horizon that Sarah began sharing the songs that would become Current. Produced by her husband, Jonny MacIntosh, and J.T. Daly of Nashville’s famed Indie rock outfit Paper Route, Current is filled with songs of unabashed praise such as “We Should Run,” “Joy Comes In” and “Take It All.” But like David so freely did in Psalms when life wasn’t quite as upbeat and hopeful, Sarah also wasn’t afraid to dig into life’s darker seasons of lament with songs like “Hope,” “The Damaged” and “Hiding Place.”

“These songs really go across the board—in one, you can tell it was written from the pit where you couldn’t possibly get any lower, while another is at the spiritual mountaintop,” Sarah explains. “Looking at my own life, I have seen those weeping moments we’re reminded about in Psalm 30:5, and then I’ve seen those joy moments. They are a promise, and that’s why these songs reflect both experiences.”

Current will be available beginning March 6. Within the U.S., it will be distributed to Christian retail stores through Provident Music Distribution and to mainstream retailers through Sony Music Distribution. It will also be available through all major digital service providers including Amazon and iTunes. Additional information on the project is available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bk3jd141p8.

Grab a free song from Sarah here:

“Galaxy Former” FREE Download

About Sarah MacIntosh: Singer/songwriter/blogger Sarah MacIntosh is married to musician Jonny MacIntosh and is the mother of a three-year-old daughter. For more information, visit http://www.sarahmacintosh.com/. To follow Sarah on Twitter, https://twitter.com/sarahmacintosh.

About Integrity Music: Kingsway and Integrity Music are the music divisions of David C Cook, a nonprofit globalresource provider serving the Church with life-transforming materials. Headquartered in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Kingsway’s and Integrity’s resources are distributed in more than 160 countries and sold worldwide. Additional information can be found at www.integritymusic.com.”

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about someone who had desperately hurt those they loved, and, although they never gave an apology or showed remorse for the grief they caused, they are now trying to resume their place among those family members and friends as if nothing happened. As a result, those close to the emotional ground zero are finding themselves questioning whether or not the offender has a right to come around. Some of the loved ones are warily opening their doors and arms, once again, while others are angry and upset, refusing to be near, in an attempt to punish or wound or just stay away from the one who had so greiviously hurt them.

It has begun to make me wonder.

Redemption-The process of making up for; making amends for; offsetting some fault, shortcoming, etc. The act of recovery.

Do we really want this, redemption, for everyone? I can think of people who have done tiny wrongs, a lie here or there, usually in an attempt to avoid hurting someones feelings; temporary abandonments, parents spending hours at work away from their families and then coming home and locking themselves in their office till everyone has given up on getting any time with them and have gone to bed; short outbursts of passive aggressive behavior with the intention of manipulating people close to them. These “smaller” wrongs are easy to imagine someone receiving redemption for. But what if, one day, these wrongs are no longer tiny and are found changing, growing to the point that a lie becomes so huge, so devastating that it’s ripple effect spreads out over states and family lines or at when a day to day abandonment becomes a packed-the-bags-and-left kind of withdrawal or when passive aggressive behavior becomes fists and bruises. Do we really still want redemption for these? For the ones we are still in splints and stitches and perhaps even medicated from?

Where do we fall in the allowance for redemption? If we or someone we hold dearest is on the receiving end of the abandonment or bruises or lies, at what point do we begin to rethink our desire for the tormentors redemption?

Torment- To afflict with great bodily or mental suffering: pain.

Do we truly want amends made for someone who has afflicted such great suffering or pain?

I find myself wondering why we have a line. Because there is one. One that is not necessarily spoken about or acknowledged but there nonetheless. A line that someone can cross without even knowing it. But lets look for it. When is a lie too great? When does it change from redeemable to unredeemable? When does aggressive move from tedious or disruptive to tormenting? When does abandonment shift from a dull sense of loneliness to a soul aching loss? At what point do we want to withold redemption, no longer believing the one in need of it, deserves it?

I know, because of the truth that clings to the pages of my bible, that a man came and erased that/those lines. This same man found tormentors in us all, even while we made excuses for our behavior, claiming that we were still on the safe, acceptable, side of the line. This same man pulled up those lines so we would find ourselves all standing, together, desperately/equally in need of redeeming. And then His redemption began, it always being there, but waiting till we would turn and allow ourselves to be redeemed. Till we would allow ourselves to admit we need a Savior/Redeemer. Till we would ignore what others have done to us and those we love and instead see our own personal need for recovery/mending, allowing our redemption to become our salvation.

Salvation- Deliverance from the power and penalty of sin; redemption.

Sin- Any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offense. A willful or deliberate violation of a moral principle.

“For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him.” John 3:16-17 (AMP)

Luckily, for each and every one of us, it doesn’t matter if we want redemption for all,

because He does.

I have been patient. I have waited, bitten my tongue and hummed under my breath all the while knowing something great was coming and I could tell everyone I know about it. Well, it’s time. I can tell you now, knowing you can buy it soon. On January 17th, the new EP from All Sons And Daughters called “Reason To Sing,” is out and you need to wake up, first thing next Tuesday, and immediately buy it. I was able to get an advanced copy of this EP a while back and have yet to remove it from my car. I have spent hours driving alone to and from airports singing at the top of my lungs to these worship filled songs till I was hoarse. As I think about this, it is hard for me to even imagine myself doing this. First of all, it is an EP, meaning not a full length CD and although there are fewer songs, I had no problem listening to the CD top to bottom repeatedly and if I am correct, neither will you. It is hard to say which songs are my favorite. Normally there are 12 songs on a CD and 2 or 3 rise to the top as favorites but since this is an EP it feels like they have cut to the chase and we are just getting the best of them, as writers, worship leaders, singers…people. This CD is just that, this is the best of David Leonard and Leslie Jordan, the duo that makes up All Sons And Daughters, and I am thrilled that they would share themselves and their worship so freely with us so that we can join in and worship right alongside them.

If I had to choose 3 songs as my favorites off of this CD I would do it like this, I would ask myself which songs have I found in my head long after the CD is turned off? Which songs have I shouted along with? Wept with? Whispered out like a prayer?

Which songs have I worshiped most freely with?

They would be:

Oh Our Lord
All Praise To You
Wake Up

And like I said before, I have sung these songs at the top of my voice till I was hoarse and then I’ve kept singing them, croaking like a worshipping frog. I hope you find yourself doing the same.

Ribbit

Follow this link to the EP, download and wrap yourself up in these songs. Enjoy. All Sons And Daughters: Reason To Sing Ep No. 2

Sometimes people ask what some of my most popular blogs are and I find myself skimming through these nifty little graphs that WordPress provides to keep track of things like that. Well as I scanned my blogs in search of this last year’s top 10 most popular blogs I found myself a little bit in awe…I have written and posted 164 blogs. Some are well over a thousand words while others are bits averaging 500 words but in total there are probably about 80,000 to 100,000 words floating around, bumping against each other on this blog and I am shocked that they’ve all come out of this head of mine. Well, I am going to post the top 10 most read and commented on blogs from this last year and you can give them a read, again if you’ve already read them or for the first time if you are new to my blog. Please leave your comments and ideas, it is so helpful for me to hear your thoughts back on them. Also if you don’t already subscribe to my blog you can do so at the top right of this page and then you will receive my blogs right into your email inbox.

Without further ado…the top 10 most popular blogs of 2011:

1. Top 5 Favorite Worship Songs I’m Singing…

2. Uh…Christian Radio=No Females…

3. Thousands Of Footsteps…

4. I Talk + Current + Video = “Current” EPK

5. Desire…

6. Revelations & Future of Forestry…

7. Thoughts after getting a speeding ticket…

8. What Came Before…

9. Who Am I?

10. The No-Longer-Lonely’s…