Sarah Mac

-Photo By Lynn Chyi

So, I am very happy with the response you guys gave me to my last poll. You guys would clearly love to hear me singing alongside David Crowder, John Mark McMillan, and Phil Wickham among others and so I will begin the reaching out process to make this happen. Perhaps now is time for the harder decision though. Which songs? Today I am coming to you with the question of which ones? Which songs have most reached out to you and grabbed a hold of you on this album “Current?” Which ones would you love to hear acoustic versions of?

Here is how this is going to work…I am going to ask your top 3 favorites that you would most want to hear on the album (see all 3 question boxes below) and then I will see which 5 or 6 songs end up rising to the top of the lists. I admit, it makes me a bit nervous. I hope your favorites are my favorites. I hope you are wanting to hear the same songs acoustically as I am. I trust you though. You are the reason that I record music, after all. Your choices are the ones I want! Yippee! Ok, get ready, get set, choose:

I am about to start recording acoustic versions of about 6 songs from my album “Current” and I need your help. I would love to have some of the brilliant artists that represent great music right now to sing on a few of these songs with me but since there are so many, I am not sure who I should ask. This is where you come in. I have narrowed down my dream list and placed it in this lovely poll for you to help me decided. Once I gather who’s voice you would love to hear alongside mine on these songs I will gather up all of my boldness and ask them to sing with me. I’ll be honest, everyone may say “No!” but I am going to try anyway (If all else fails I’m pretty sure I can get my mom and Alvin and the Chipmunks to make an appearance. Right mom???) If you feel I have left someone out who definitely needs to be on this list (I’m sure I have), please feel free to add them. So, go vote! Then pass this poll along to your friends and make them vote!

The other day I was discussing with someone how easily I could now understand women who decide to have child after child until they look down and see 4 or 6 or 7 or 8 pairs of eyes looking back at them, blinking, waiting for something (probably food). I can now understand it because I have had the joy of carrying and giving birth to my own daughter, Scarlett, and even in the most painful moment of that delivery I was still full to the point of bursting with joy at her imminent arrival. Then I remember those early mornings, when she woke before the sunrise, when I would groggily look at her with a smile on my face and tears and sleep in my eyes. Once again, joy was humming throughout my body. Now, my daughter is 3 1/2 years old and even now I am finding my self giggling as she rides her scooter by while wearing a pink, blue and white argyle robe, hot pink kids headphone ear protectors and blue swimming goggles (I tried to get a picture of this unique beast but she was too fast on the scooter).

So I am thinking of all of the joy moments I have already had in this 4 year relationship and all the ones that will come, in the lifetime ahead and I wouldn’t trade second of them; but I think there is another huge attractant I have to motherhood. Something that I don’t think I have ever realized is so awesome about it.

When I was pregnant I had to give up so many things, coffee, caffeine, some of my favorite foods (cause I would get sick). I gave up my clothes (for a new, far more unattractive set). I gave up my running after 7 months of pregnancy. I gave up my body shape and high heels and sleep and comfort and my normal hormones. There was much more that I gave up but I will stop the listing there. I gave up so much but I found it so easy to do and it was all for love of a person I had yet to meet. It is through motherhood that I have become the most selfless “Sarah” I have ever been and to be honest, it is the happiest I have ever been.

Selfless-having little or no concern for oneself, or ones interests; unselfish.

Philippians 2:3 says

“Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].”

I look back at my own childhood and my own mother and see how repeatedly, throughout my whole life she embodied this verse. When it came to making a choice for herself or us children, we always won. When this verse speaks of the spirit of humility (the quality of being humble-low in rank, importance, status) I can look back and see how that was the spirit with which my mother made both small and some of the largest decisions of her life and its one of the great qualities about her that makes me ache to be more like her.

Much of my happiness, as a mother, comes from the fulfillment of this verse in Philipians. I reflect on those early days with my daughter when there was probably the least Sarah thoughts, Sarah wants and Sarah time because of it’s consumption by this tiny, warm, cooing skin wrapped love and I find myself longing to go back to that place where there is less of me. Sooo, I this Mother’s day I am giving myself a gift, I am allowing myself to scrape off the scales of selfishness and go back to less of me, because I have finally learned

Less

is

More.

The other day I was reminded of my extremely poor dancing skills. There was a time when I was younger that I thought I had moves but the older I get the more I realize that while I certainly did have “moves” they were never the kind of moves that should be displayed in public and associated with dancing.

That is unless my daughter asks me to dance.

She is a 3 foot tall display of joy and happiness and when I see her light up over a booty shaking session around our kitchen or outside a restaurant when the music over the outdoor speakers grabs her attention, I can’t help but answer “yes” to her asking me to dance with her. This means my sidestepping, shoulder dipping, head bopping has been seen in public and I could really care less because of her, the laughter starter, the smile bringer, the fun sharer. I wonder what public humiliation I wouldn’t endure if it brought out her bubbling giggles. This thing I do, this dancing even when I do it poorly is just one small way that I love my daughter. This is me handing over my love to her in twirls and the roger rabbit. Maybe someday she will look back and think, “Man my mom can’t dance, yet, I recall many, many spontaneous dance-a-thons in my childhood, even in public!” and I hope these thoughts lead to her realizing she is so greatly loved by me.

I was reminded of these thoughts of love and dancing the other day when I stood next to a man during the singing part of a church service. His voice was bad. Really, really bad, but there, in public he belted out his horrible voice in worship anyway. It made me tear up just a bit thinking of his desire to show his love for Christ through his worship. A desire so great that he clearly did not care about what others might be thinking about him and his pitch-less singing. He needed to express his love for his Savior.

When we are in love, when we show this love, we are fools in our expression of it. We care little about what anyone may think about our foolishness and continue headlong in our desire to express it. I sit here thinking back to emails that I wrote to my husband when we were first dating and I blush at the silly, ooy-gooey, lovey-dovey things I would write to him. I gushed. I overflowed and anybody around me would have known about this boy who was the object of my affection even though they may have thought my gushing sounded silly.

I find myself sitting here desiring to have that same carelessness in my display of love in my worship, in my life of worship. I have a Savior who I love and I want to gush. I want to be able to remember how to let go and be unreserved in my worship and loving of this Savior of mine that perhaps someone would stand next to me and think, “Whoa! Did you hear her sing? All the wrong notes but it’s like she didn’t even care what she sounds like because she is so caught up in the expression of her worship.” Why? Because just as I know when I am an uncoordinated dancer with my daughter I know that there is no place better to be than loving.

And loving my Creator is exactly what I am designed for.

King David seemed to have similar thoughts when someone questioned him about his “leaping and whirling before the Lord.” He said, in response, “I will play music before the Lord. And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight.” Another translation says it like this, “Oh yes, I’ll dance to God’s glory—more recklessly even than this. And as far as I’m concerned…I’ll gladly look like a fool.”

Undignified-Lacking in or damaging to dignity.

Dignity-nobility or elevation of character; worthiness

David set aside his own sense of worthiness, claiming he would do so even to the point of damaging it, and worshipped the only One with any worth. David knew the Lord and he loved Him. He gushed and he didn’t care who saw him because he was worshipping his Creator, the only one who knew him fully and still loved him completely.

This is our hearts desire. We crave being wholly loved and completely known and there is only one who is able to do both. When we realize this, when we catch a glimpse of this, our whole being reacts and we find ourselves dropping our handfuls of our self worth and allowing ourselves to be foolish, undignified in our worship because we desire to respond to love with love.

I will gladly damage my worthiness to stockpile moments of love like these throughout these few years in eternity that my lifetime may fill. May your days also be foolish and undignified and as a result, happy and love filled.

This is the last one. I was wondering why I choose it to be last and began to think that perhaps it is because I would want to be honest about the life that was lived underneath this song. Perhaps I would tell you of the heartache and great joy that met one rainy day before I recorded my newest album “Current.” But, in order for you to be able to go there with me, you would need to know a bit more about me. You would need to have followed me through the other videos “Current,” “Galaxy Former,” “The Damaged,” and “Calling, Calling,” and maybe listened to my CD, letting it grow on you so then you would be able to hear my words as honest words. You would hear words of a songwriter who is bleeding onto the paper. Because it is important to me that you hear honesty in my lyrics, because I want all of my lyrics to be a path that walks you straight to a Savior, my Savior, and if I am dishonest in my writing, then maybe you will be led to be dishonest, yourself, in your own relationship with God. This kind of living, the dishonest with your Creator type of living, is like a virus, worming itself throughout our lives, infecting our decisions, actions and relationships.

So here goes, honesty from a shy girl.

A few years back I was told that if I was going to be able to have children, then it was either going to be extremely hard or just not going to happen. This came to me as a shock because prior to this doctoral revelation I had thought that my husband and I had been the ones making the decisions on when or when not to have children. I never thought that there was a possibility that we might not be able to have a choice. This lead to bouts of anger and frustration and hurt and self-pity. I wrestled with what seemed like the glaring injustice of the insurance companies towards women desiring to have children (most do not cover the cost of infertility treatments) and women wanting to get rid of the babies they accidentally get pregnant with (most insurance companies cover the cost of abortions even though they may cost upwards of $10,000). Sometimes I felt like I was plummeting into a bottomless pit of sorrow with only a tiny flicker of hope to reach out for. Once again, I was not left to wallow. Once again, comfort found me. In this hurting time I found comfort in the only place real comfort can be found and that is alongside My Savior. In Psalm 34:18 it says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,” and in Isaiah 61:1 it says He will “bind up and heal the broken hearted.” I clung to those two promises like life rafts and wedged myself right up against the testament of His scarred ribcage, because a God who would die for me, who would be beaten, bruised, spit upon, pierced in both hands, feet and even His side, is a God who I could hold to His promises.

Then, once again, in my life, what was wrong was made right. My body functioned normally without any treatments or chemicals or extraordinary measures and a life began growing within my womb.

Joy.

Indescribable. Unexpected. Undeserved. Seemingly impossible.

Laughter came upon us like lightning and her name is Scarlett.

Later, in the months after having my daughter I sat in my home on a rainy morning feeling worry lapping at my feet as I wondered what the possibility of having a sibling for my daughter would be. Once again blood testing etc. was saying “extremely hard or just not going to happen” and I could see myself approaching the ledge of that bottomless pit BUT, as in other moments like this in my life, I began to reflect on who my Savior is. The Creator, Shaper, Breath Giver of this body of mine. And once again I would rest alongside this promise keeper God knowing that despite the outcome of more children or not, of hope crushed or fulfilled, of joy or pain, a life lived next to Him is a life of desire fulfilled(For more of my thoughts in this direction you can read my blog “Desire”).

This is the floor upon which this last song I recorded a live video for was built upon. This is “Laughter Comes Upon Us” in lyric and video.

Laughter Comes Upon Us

I’ve wept until I made a visible trail
This path has not been kind or ever friendly
But if I thought I’d want it another way
I’d surely find that nothing else is for me

“The Same Love”

People want to sing. This is a love that I have seen developing from a very early stage in my 3 year old daughter and I still see it in the faces of adults worldwide. There is something about the constant hum in our throats, the rise and fall of melody and the poetic phrasing of life that grabs a hold of our chests, pulling us towards the need to express ourselves through music and song. It has never mattered if you have a voice like Celine Dion, Dave Grohl or a big belly-ed toad frog, we gravitate towards music to be the soundtrack of our lives. Perhaps Rage Against The Machine (if you were like me) during my angst-y/full of myself/think I’m cooler than I actually am/teenage years. Or maybe you listen to Adele’s 21 after a recent breakup, expressing your heartache. Maybe nothing but Bjork will work, on your iPod, when you are feeling creative or Muse for a quick paced run or Ray LaMontagne for dinner on the back porch with your love as the sun sets. Why are these albums the ones needed for these moments in our lives? Because their lyrics and music were crafted by the best of the best to express the truths and emotions of those moments.

Adele: “Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we’re fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can’t keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can’t breathe”- Turning Tables/ 21

Rage Against The Machine: “In the right light, study becomes insight
But the system that dissed us
Teaches us to read and right”- Take The Power Back/ Rage Against The Machine

Ray LaMontagne: “Listen when
All of this around us’ll fall over
I tell you what we’re gonna do
Hey you will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
If you shelter me too
I will shelter you” Shelter/ Trouble

So this leads me to staring out at the faces of a group of people desiring to sing to their Savior. What words can I hand out to them? What words and songs do I choose for this moment when I know they need to express their love, hope, grief, joy, and awe? What song do I sing that will help cement this moment of worship into their hearts as they leave this building and go out into the roar of this world? These are the questions I ask myself and leads me to the point of this blog. Paul Baloche has consistently written the very songs that I am describing. With songs like “Our God Saves,” “Open The Eyes Of My Heart,” “Hosanna” and “Glorious,” Paul has been handing us, worship leaders and worshippers alike the words and melody that we need to express our response to the fragrance of eternity placed within us. To respond to unconditional, unequivocal, unequaled, and unending love.

This new album of Paul’s is needed. It is a Mary Poppins bag of songs that we can draw from to fit inside our mouths and hearts, ready at a moments notice to express the vastly important song of a creation’s love for our Creator.

Go get the album.

“The Same Love”

Why are we looking for Jesus in a tortilla?

The other day I saw a post on a major news website saying that someone found a burn mark in a tortilla that looked just like Jesus. No, they didn’t eat the tortilla, because now they are treasuring the tortilla as a miracle.

If Jesus were to put a picture of Himself burned into the flour of someones lunch would it be so roughly done? Because I saw the burn mark in the tortilla and it is a toss up between being Jesus, Fidel Castro and the Scarlett Letter’s Gary Oldman.

I mean, would Jesus do a half-hearted miracle?

If I look at the miracles that Jesus did in the bible, I am given clues as to the quality of miracles Jesus performs as well as why He performs them.

Exhibit #1: Jesus Turns Water Into Wine, John 2:7-11

“Jesus ordered the servants, “Fill the pots with water.” And they filled them to the brim.

This act in Cana of Galilee was the first sign Jesus gave, the first glimpse of his glory. And his disciples believed in him.”

Exhibit #2: Jesus raises a boy from the dead, Luke 7:11-17

“Not long after that, Jesus went to the village Nain. His disciples were with him, along with quite a large crowd. As they approached the village gate, they met a funeral procession—a woman’s only son was being carried out for burial. And the mother was a widow. When Jesus saw her, his heart broke. He said to her, “Don’t cry.” Then he went over and touched the coffin. The pallbearers stopped. He said, ‘Young man, I tell you: Get up.’ The dead son sat up and began talking. Jesus presented him to his mother.

They all realized they were in a place of holy mystery, that God was at work among them. They were quietly worshipful—and then noisily grateful, calling out among themselves, ‘God is back, looking to the needs of his people!’ The news of Jesus spread all through the country.”

In each of these miracles we see great quality, water being turned into the best wine and a boy being raised from the dead. He didn’t just settle for a cheap wine, although He knew no one would probably notice or begrudge it’s quality, but He produced the best wine at the wedding. He also didn’t just comfort and bring overwhelming peace to the mother who had lost her son but instead he raised her son from the dead, completely eliminating her grief and need for comfort.

There is also a recurring reason for His miracles and that is for people to see His glory and spread word about Him so all can come to know Him and believe in Him.

So I sit here and think about which God I would serve. If my friend ran up to me, shouting and saying she just saw a man touch a child who had died and raise him from the dead, I would surely want to follow her to find out who this man was. But, if someone (the internet) tells me that a man found a sketchy picture of Jesus who looks like Gary Oldman on a tortilla then I am going to (and did) just skip right over the information making my way on to more interesting news.

I know of people who have born children after being told it was impossible and people who have lived years after the date the doctors told them they would die. I know of someone the doctors told would never have full use of their brain who now has multiple masters degrees and the brain to reflect the achievement. These are the types of miracles I expect to see a great God perform and these are the types of miracles that have spread through whispered and shouting voices, spreading His glory. These are miracles that are happening around us now in our modern day seemingly god-less world. These are the miracles that I am going to expect to see more of because these are the ones that would lead people to believe in Him.

Is a warped image of Jesus in a tortilla bringing Him glory OR bringing glory to the man who sold the story to CNN? I find myself wondering how great a God do I think I follow? Do I expect true, huge, God revealing miracles or do I think He is small and incapable of them? Truly?

This weekend I am reminded of the greatest miracle of all time. A Savior became man so that on a Friday He could let his human nature be eclipsed by His God-like nature and become a sacrifice for His people. So that He could stand in our place when all our sins, wrongdoings, grievances were stacked against us and we were found guilty. So that He could become the payment for our crimes. But His awful death for us is not the miracle…the miracle happened three days later, when people were getting back into the rhythm of their normal lives. Three days after being entombed He did what He always said He would do, what people thought was impossible, a task so great that no one actually expected Him to fulfill His promise. He rose, our sin no longer on Him but buried there in the grave to no longer be looked at. He rose, clothed, instead, with life and hope and freedom. He rose showing how it is possible that one day, when our mortal bodies lack the ability to remain breathing and moving any longer, we will be buried and our skin will become an empty shell as we rise to meet Him in eternity.

This week I am thinking about the greatest miracle and it’s promise to me. This week I am believing. This week I am spreading and singing and shouting and carrying and handing and showing and whispering and giving and displaying and telling about Him and this miracle of life we have been adorned with and I am eager to watch people placing each arm carefully and sometimes rapidly inside this rescue coat as they wrap themselves inside it. These people and their stories of salvation will be today’s miracles, leaps and bounds greater than a burn in a tortilla because their stories will speak and echo throughout eternity. Yes!

Today I am releasing the 3rd of 5 live videos I recently filmed. This one is the title track of the CD and one that I am very happy to show you. Once again I have crammed about as many musicians into one room where we ebbed and flowed with the string section and yes, that is a beautiful accordion named “Sue.”

Ohhh I do hope you enjoy enough to pass it along to your friends and please leave your thoughts below.

“Current”

Dillon Reservoir, aka Lake Dillon, is situated up in the mountains approximately 70 miles west of Denver, Co. In 1961, the city of Denver decided that it needed a water reserve in the high country and they dammed what was the small lake of Dillon and a convergence of a couple of rivers, flooding the original town of Dillon, Co. and the surrounding valley. While visiting the area a while back I was blown away to find out that I was sitting in a café that had been moved from down in the valley and the old town of Dillon to the new location, now at the edge of the reservoir along with many homes in 1960 before the valley was flooded. I couldn’t believe what crazy lengths people went to for this endeavor but with further probing I discovered that the reservoir now provides water to upward of 1.3 million people in the Denver area. That is a lot of need. That is a lot of life. Because of this, the Denver Water company has strict guidelines about people using the lake, boats on the lake and even being near the lake to protect their water source and thus the life source of so many Coloradans.

It was no wonder that I thought about this reservoir the other day when I read Proverbs 11:4. It says,

“A thick bankroll is no help when life falls apart,
but a principled life can stand up to the worst.”

Another beautiful valley and trees were not what the city of Denver needed. When the city of Denver is in draught, the people are able to make it due to the fact that they have planned and stored up and protected the water they need. This verse is making the same statement to me, giving me a clue in life that when I am in a state of draught, money will be of no help. Although this is not what the world would tell us, money, with her allure and empty promises, cannot stand up to the worst BUT a principled life can. A reservoir of righteousness delivers every time.

Maybe, you have stockpiled the wrong thing, or even nothing at all, but you are starting to notice that you are in need of a reserve. Life is pulling on you, drawing from you and you are looking around, frantically for a source of deliverance.

Principled- Imbued with or having moral principles.

Righteous- Morally right or justifiable. Acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous.

Begin making a plan. Move stuff around in your life, even if it is hard or seemingly impossible, like moving an entire home up a hill to make way for a valley’s flooding. Don’t let you mind linger on the old things that will be no longer be available, because there is no room for both greed and moderation and generosity. Avarice and righteousness cannot abide together, so don’t grieve for it. Instead dam the valley and store up what can stand up to the worst in life. Stockpile virtue